3. Kids ministry is an afterthought.
About a year ago, a pastor asked me to be the guest speaker and worship leader at his church while he was away. When we brought our family (which at the time included a 1 and 4 year old), it only took us a minute to realize that this church had a long, hard fight for survival ahead of them. Their "nursery" was essentially a closet not much larger than a sofa and their "kids ministry" consisted of a table at the back of their meeting room with some crayons and colouring pages. Needless to say, the only family that regularly attended belonged to the pastor, and I felt sorry for those kids.
What's the likelihood that you would invite a family to join you at a church that had nothing substantial to offer for children? What's the likelihood that an unchurched family would ever return?
Outside of a miracle, I would say that the odds were stacked against them. This was certainly an extreme case, but sadly, it's one that I've encountered many times before. I've seen relatively healthy churches with an average attendance of 150-200 give their kids ministries the summer off, believing that handing out colouring pages is some kind of substitute for a dedicated teaching time for children. Trust me when I say that no parent can enjoy and really benefit from the sermon with an antsy child sitting beside them. I've also been to churches that keep their un-staffed nursery open for any parents who would like to watch their own children. What incredible thoughtfulness!
About a year ago, my family had an incredibly positive experience visiting a new church plant that was meeting in a public school. In my opinion, they did everything right. Upon arrival we were given a lot of information about where the nursery/kids rooms were located, how their security/check-in system worked, and when the kids would be dismissed from the adult service. The kids program had a friendly, energetic staff and all of the children were taught the same lesson/theme appropriate to their age (which should be standard practice). Even better, the kids had FUN! It was such a great experience, we decided to go back during our summer holidays when the church's services had switched from Sunday mornings to Thursday evenings. We assumed that our experience would be even better, as the church was holding a free barbecue supper before their meeting. How could you go wrong with barbecue? Imagine our shock and disappointment when we discovered that they didn't offer a nursery and their kids program consisted of one rather lax adult volunteer sitting with the children in a hallway with a Veggietales video. Their commitment to a safe, relevant, high quality program for children had gone out the window. After the first visit, we wholeheartedly recommended the church to a few other families we knew. After our final visit, we prayed and hoped that none of them would remember that recommendation.
Pastors/church leaders, there is nothing more important to parents than their children. If you would like to see your church grow, if you would like to see your congregation bringing guests along with them, you need to invest heavily in kids ministry. The music and sermon can no longer be the only things you see as being non-negotiable. If kids are having a great time (as opposed to them feeling like they're doing time) you will have won the hearts and loyalty of their parents. Even if your church doesn't have any kids or young families presently attending, by setting in place a high quality nursery/kids program, you're setting yourself up for a future of growth. Encourage your leaders that even if they spend a Sunday in an empty nursery, their presence and preparedness is invaluable for creating a strong first impression for first-time guests. Trust me, when your Sunday morning kids ministry is firing on all cylinders, you'll be making it incredibly easy for families in your congregation to both recommend and bring guests along with them.
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