BARRIERS TO CHURCH #5: Uncleanliness

Let it Glow!

For eight years, not only did I serve as youth pastor in my church, but I also worked as the building custodian. And this wasn't some building that was only used twice a week! Space was rented out on an ongoing basis to a preschool, an ESL course, and an after-school learning centre on top of special events and regular church activities. Needless to say, it kept me pretty busy, and I saw a lot of things that you just can't ever un-see. One of the strangest things I ever found in a washroom was a relish fast-food packet. Was someone actually eating a hotdog...in there?

Believe it or not, I actually really enjoyed that aspect of my job. It certainly wasn't glamorous, but I understood that first impressions were (and are) important. As a parent, this became something I valued all the more, since I became aware of how much time kids spend rolling around on the floor and putting things in their mouths.

It might seem weird to suggest that the cleanliness of your church building might actually become a barrier to someone plugging into your church community, but it's true-- ESPECIALLY for young families. I've seen nurseries with disgusting floors covered with all manner of stains. I've seen toddlers playing with toys that were in an incredible state of disrepair. I've seen a baby suck on the nose of a stuffed animal that looked like it should have been incinerated years ago. Pastors and church leaders, the state of your nursery and kids ministry room says a lot about how much you care about children. If the paint is peeling off the walls, if the room smells musty, if the floor is dirty, if the washrooms are filthy, if lights are flickering, these are all warning signs...and parents will notice. 

Of course, even if you don't have kids, you can probably appreciate meeting in a space that's clean and comfortable. Are some of the washrooms consistently out of order? Are the walls covered in a 20-year-old coat of paint? Are the glass doors and mirrors smeared with smudge marks and fingerprints? The next time you enter your building, look at things from the perspective of a first-time guest. See things through the eyes of a parent. Is it a safe and clean environment? You would be amazed at how something as simple as a fresh coat of paint can change the ambiance of your meeting place!

If you're like me, there are days when you would be horrified to have a friend or family member decide to drop by for a surprise visit. We've all experienced those frantic moments of hiding dirty dishes inside the oven, praying that nobody accidentally opens the bedroom door to stumble across what can best be described as a "crime scene". Why do we do that? Why is it so important to us? While, in truth, we might be trying to create an illusion of perfection in order to impress our guests, at the very least, we don't want to give our guest a bad impression of us or our homes. We don't want our guest to leave and tell horror stories of their experience. "Did you hear about the time I went to visit a friend and found a moldy grilled-cheese sandwich hidden under a couch cushion?"

Obviously, that's an over-embellishment, but you get the idea. First impressions are important. Ensure that your building is clean and well maintained, giving special attention to the nursery and kids ministry space. Don't let something as simple as failing to replace broken toys become a barrier to someone becoming a part of your church community.

BARRIERS TO CHURCH #4: Poor Communication

4. Be Our Guest: The importance of communication

In my last post, I wrote about one of the best church experiences I've had in recent memory. (It was unfortunate that the church couldn't live up to their own standard of excellence when we returned several months later). One of the things that made our initial experience such a positive one was that they recognized that communication was key.

One of the biggest barriers in preventing prospective first-time guests from attending a church service is fear of the unknown. People who've grown up being a part of a church, including most pastors, often have no idea that the concept of attending a church for the first time sparks a great deal of fear and apprehension.

To wrap your mind around this, let's assume that you're someone who has gone to an evangelical church for much of your life. You know the routines. You know what to expect. The order of service is almost always the same. Now, imagine that you've accepted an invitation for you and your family to join your neighbors on a Sunday at a Roman Catholic Church. You've seen depictions of their services on TV sitcoms before, but it'll be the first time you've ever attended one of them. What should you expect? Is there something running before or during the service for your kids? Can you trust that those working with your children have been properly trained or screened?  What will they "make" you do? Will there be weird chanting in Latin? Will you stick out like a sore thumb in the midst of their liturgy? Will it be a 'Mr. Bean' experience?

How can you, as a pastor or church leader, remove all anxiety or worry from the mind of a prospective guest? How can you ensure that someone's first experience at church will be a great experience? Better communication. While the following list isn't a comprehensive one, hopefully you'll discover a few tips here that will remove a lot of the perceived "spookiness" out of someone's experience as your guest.

1. Guest Services

There are a few times where my family has decided to visit a church "blind", meaning that we didn't know anybody who attended the church and weren't sure what to expect. On one occasion, we entered a church only to have the majority of the people in the lobby ignore us entirely, opting to catch up with their friends instead. It made it even more awkward that I was the guest speaker! Thankfully, we've also had some great experiences where churches had a 'guest services' team in place whose role was to be a friendly, welcoming face, armed with information to alleviate any anxiety or uncertainty a guest might have.

Pastor and blogger, Rich Birch, once wrote that someone in guest services should be like a great party host, introducing guests to others, ensuring that lots of conversations are happening, and making sure that NOBODY is standing in a corner being ignored or forgotten. In terms of what information someone in guest services should have, they should let guests know about free coffee, where the washrooms are located, when the service is scheduled to begin and to assure them that they can sit wherever they would like. If a visiting family has arrived, aside from the above information, the welcome team should describe how awesome their kids ministry is (hopefully without lying), offer to give the family a quick tour of the kid's room, explain when the kids would be dismissed from the service, assure parents that all of those working with children have been screened and trained (again, hopefully without lying) and explain the process for parents to check-in/check-out their children. You get it. The more information, the better-- ESPECIALLY when you're dealing with parents!

2. A Relevant Website

Before anyone sets foot in your church for the first time, rest assured that they've already visited your website. Does that scare you? Ensuring that your website is designed to appeal and offer information to potential first-time guests is paramount. Some tips:

•  Make it look pretty! There are a number of free or relatively inexpensive options for you to build a professional looking website. I would recommend a free content creator like http://www.weebly.com or one that's around the same price as what it would cost you to advertise in the newspaper (http://www.squarespace.com). If you're not very tech savvy, recruit someone in the church to head up the design. Note: Designing a website by committee is a bad idea.
• There's no such thing as too much information! Do your best to explain, in detail, what guests should expect. A lot of churches offer a breakdown of a typical "order of service", dress code (hopefully a lack thereof), worship style, and even an explanation of common individual expressions of worship a guest might see during a service (lifting hands, dancing, flag waving).
• Remember, it's an advertisement for your community! Don't design your website with your congregation in mind. Regular church attenders might be interested in following your church on social media or subscribing to your messages on iTunes, but will seldom (if ever) visit your website. Make sure the language isn't flighty or complicated. Think about how you would explain one of your programs to someone who has no church context. What would you want your church to look like 5-10 years from now? If you envision it as being multicultural, make sure a variety of ethnic groups are represented in photographs and advertising! If you envision it to be full of students or young families, especially if you're a member of the 50+ club, recruit somebody in their 20's-30's to help with design and wording.

3. Clear direction and explanation from the pastor

Even with a great website and a stellar team in guest services, the pastor (or whoever might be making any announcement) should reiterate any pertinent information. For example, when it's time to take up the offering, explain your expectations for guests (hopefully there aren't any). If you're about to lead the congregation in the Lord's Supper, explain the process and significance of it! If your church leans a little on the Pentecostal side and you experience a gift of the Holy Spirit, explain why it happens and how it's biblical! Let's face it, you can't completely sanitize God, but you also don't want to have a guest so freaked out over something they saw or experienced that it leaves a bad taste in their mouth and they decide to never return.

Incidentally, if you're someone who is a regular church attender, some of the explanation a pastor may offer throughout the service might seem a little redundant or come off sounding scripted. Please remember, that information isn't meant for you! While it's something you might hear every week, it's said for the benefit of any potential first-time guests. Cut the pastor some slack!

BARRIERS TO CHURCH #3: Kids ministry is an afterthought

3. Kids ministry is an afterthought.

About a year ago, a pastor asked me to be the guest speaker and worship leader at his church while he was away. When we brought our family (which at the time included a 1 and 4 year old), it only took us a minute to realize that this church had a long, hard fight for survival ahead of them. Their "nursery" was essentially a closet not much larger than a sofa and their "kids ministry" consisted of a table at the back of their meeting room with some crayons and colouring pages. Needless to say, the only family that regularly attended belonged to the pastor, and I felt sorry for those kids.

What's the likelihood that you would invite a family to join you at a church that had nothing substantial to offer for children? What's the likelihood that an unchurched family would ever return?

Outside of a miracle, I would say that the odds were stacked against them. This was certainly an extreme case, but sadly, it's one that I've encountered many times before. I've seen relatively healthy churches with an average attendance of 150-200 give their kids ministries the summer off, believing that handing out colouring pages is some kind of substitute for a dedicated teaching time for children. Trust me when I say that no parent can enjoy and really benefit from the sermon with an antsy child sitting beside them. I've also been to churches that keep their un-staffed nursery open for any parents who would like to watch their own children. What incredible thoughtfulness!

About a year ago, my family had an incredibly positive experience visiting a new church plant that was meeting in a public school. In my opinion, they did everything right. Upon arrival we were given a lot of information about where the nursery/kids rooms were located, how their security/check-in system worked, and when the kids would be dismissed from the adult service. The kids program had a friendly, energetic staff and all of the children were taught the same lesson/theme appropriate to their age (which should be standard practice). Even better, the kids had FUN! It was such a great experience, we decided to go back during our summer holidays when the church's services had switched from Sunday mornings to Thursday evenings. We assumed that our experience would be even better, as the church was holding a free barbecue supper before their meeting. How could you go wrong with barbecue? Imagine our shock and disappointment when we discovered that they didn't offer a nursery and their kids program consisted of one rather lax adult volunteer sitting with the children in a hallway with a Veggietales video. Their commitment to a safe, relevant, high quality program for children had gone out the window. After the first visit, we wholeheartedly recommended the church to a few other families we knew. After our final visit, we prayed and hoped that none of them would remember that recommendation.

Pastors/church leaders, there is nothing more important to parents than their children. If you would like to see your church grow, if you would like to see your congregation bringing guests along with them, you need to invest heavily in kids ministry. The music and sermon can no longer be the only things you see as being non-negotiable. If kids are having a great time (as opposed to them feeling like they're doing time) you will have won the hearts and loyalty of their parents. Even if your church doesn't have any kids or young families presently attending, by setting in place a high quality nursery/kids program, you're setting yourself up for a future of growth. Encourage your leaders that even if they spend a Sunday in an empty nursery, their presence and preparedness is invaluable for creating a strong first impression for first-time guests. Trust me, when your Sunday morning kids ministry is firing on all cylinders, you'll be making it incredibly easy for families in your congregation to both recommend and bring guests along with them.

BARRIERS TO CHURCH #2: Sermons

2. Sermons that are irrelevant to possible first time guests.

Several churches that I've been a part of have included a children's teaching moment as a part of their liturgy. Typically, the children would gather at the front of the auditorium and the pastor/leader would tell a story that would illustrate some biblical truth, sometimes utilizing a great deal of creativity. Probably all of us can remember a time when an innocent child was asked a question and proceeded to say something hilariously embarrassing into the microphone. Perhaps you can even remember a powerful object lesson that seemed to explain a biblical concept in a simple and unique way? When done right, these teaching moments can be both memorable and effective. There have been times, however, when the pastor/leader seemed to entirely forget about the audience that he/she was teaching to. Big theological words like "righteousness" and "sanctification" would be used and never defined. Passages of Scripture would be read without adequate explanation. The faces of the children would say it all. They would sit, staring at the ceiling, feeling completely disengaged.

During your Sunday morning sermon, would a visitor have an experience similar to those children?

While it's important to provide great teaching to those who regularly attend, the sermon needs to also be written with guests in mind. When preparing your message, are you doing so under the assumption that only Christians will be hearing it? Would a first-time guest understand the deep theological words you use? Would they understand references to classic Bible stories? Would they feel left out, or even worse, turned off, by the jokes you tell? Would your illustrations make any sense to someone outside of a church context? 

It seems that pastors have a tendency to preach to the majority when the minority are the ones who have stepped out of their comfort zone to give church a chance (perhaps for the last time).  

Remember, Jesus himself said that he came for the sin-sick. The Good Shepherd chased after the one lost sheep. Jesus cares deeply for the minority.

Even if your church seldom has guests, tailoring your sermon to be inclusive and inviting also communicates to your congregation that Sunday morning is a safe place for them to bring a friend. They'll appreciate your desire to create a meaningful and relevant message for those who have no church context, and when you've developed that trust, you'll have removed a huge barrier to their extending an invitation to their neighbors and coworkers.

BARRIERS TO CHURCH #1: Emphasis on Traditionalism

1. Emphasis on traditionalism (doing things like we've always done them) that resists change and stifles growth.

Not only have I attended quite a few different church services over the last year, but I've interviewed at a few handfuls of them (too many perhaps), and one thing that has really surprised me is how many churches seem to be content with the status quo. Now, don't get me wrong, this has never been vocalized. In fact, I'm sure the vast majority of churches out there see the need for (and even love the idea of) change, but recognizing the need and actually taking steps to make change are two separate things.  

I believe that one of the primary goals of a pastor should be to lead a community of believers to not just be a community of believers.

Probably every pastor and church would wholeheartedly agree with that statement, but the problem is that it's a lot easier to say it than do it. When I suggest that an emphasis on traditionalism is a barrier to people bringing a guest to church, I'm not talking about a church's particular worship style or where they sit in terms of ritual and liturgy. Every church is different. I believe that it's important to embrace those differences in worship and expression and appreciate them as a part of the larger worldwide church family. What I'm getting at is that if a church is content with the status quo (simply doing things the way they've always done them), the danger is that the church becomes irrelevant to those who've never walked through the doors of a church before.

I must confess, I know very little about ushering in change in the context of a church, but I certainly recognize when there's a need for it. If you're a pastor/leader, my hope and prayer is that you would desire, not only to provide bible-based teaching and offer a meaningful worship experience to those who join you on a Sunday, but to see people bringing friends and neighbors along with them. How can you facilitate that? It might start with encouraging your congregation to meet within the church walls less and actually spend time getting to know others in their neighborhood. It might mean opting to have a 'First Steps/Christianity 101' group instead of an adult bible study. Perhaps it means inviting a few of your friends or neighbors from the community to join you on a Sunday in order to offer some constructive criticism on what you're doing well and where you're falling short?  I want to encourage you to embrace change and lead your congregation to the point where they desire change too. Hopefully, my next few posts will give you a lot of things to think about.

BARRIERS TO CHURCH: Introduction

As a pastor/church leader, have you ever thought about how rare it is when someone in your congregation actually brings someone along with them to a Sunday service?

During my decade as a youth pastor, I would intentionally tailor talks and events towards teens who had no church connection. Nearly every single youth night was constructed, not just to provide a quality time of worship and teaching for Christian teens, but to also be a fun, non-threatening and relevant experience for someone who had never set foot in a church before. There was nothing that thrilled me more than seeing teens, not just inviting, but BRINGING their friends along with them to our youth night.

However, I also noticed that what happened on Sundays was a completely different story. Very seldom did I ever see someone over the age of 20 bring a friend (let alone an entire family) to be a part of the morning service and be given an opportunity to connect to church community. Think about it! When was the last time one of the regular attendees of your Sunday service brought someone new along with them? Perhaps an even better question is, 'Why don't MORE Christians invite and bring guests with them to church?'  Is it because the average congregation doesn't care about seeing their friends and neighbors come to experience the love and grace of Jesus? I wouldn't go quite that far. In fact, I would suggest that the average person in your church really does want to bring someone along with them, but that, perhaps, there are some barriers present in your church that prevent them from doing so.

Last week, probably to the chagrin of most of my followers, I took to Twitter with a huge list of potential barriers that may prevent Christians from inviting guests to join them on a Sunday morning. I also mentioned a number of things that would leave those first-time guests with a bad first impression. While you can view that shortlist by searching the hashtag #Barriers2Church, I thought it would be a good idea to write a little more extensively about each of those barriers here on this blog where there isn't a 140 character limit and I can better communicate my thoughts and ideas. My hope would be that, as a result, you would think about your church context and be challenged towards reducing barriers that might just be inhibiting numerical growth.

If something I write challenges you and spurs you on to make some changes, I'd love to hear from you!

4 GREAT Internet Accountability/Filtering Apps and 4 to Avoid

Last week, I posted an article I wrote about the importance of online accountability and filtering from a Biblical perspective called "On a Rooftop". The simple truth is that pornography has never been more accessible- it's literally right at our fingertips! Thankfully, there are a number of apps and programs available to help prevent YOU from making poor online choices and also protect YOUR KIDS from stumbling upon something that could destroy their innocence and lead to bondage. In this post, I wanted to highlight 4 apps that you might want to consider as way to remain accountable to others for your online viewing habits and to set up boundaries that prevent pornography from being viewed on your computer or mobile device.

While there are a lot of great apps available to assist in this area, the simple truth is that some of them are problematic or rather expensive (I'll mention the 4 apps to avoid at the end). As someone who balks at making monthly payments and unnecessary spending, I wanted to share a number of the CHEAPEST apps available. In addition to this, as a student pastor for over a decade, I've always encouraged online accountability, but the reality is that there are few students who would be willing to make monthly payments or subscribe to a service. Because of the seriousness and prevalence of porn addiction, I think it's important that we make online accountability and filtering as cheap and convenient as possible. To plug a free app with students is a much easier sell than encouraging them to sign up for a monthly subscription. I would LOVE to see a company create accountability software/apps FOR FREE that work across all devices, but until that day, these are some of the best options for you and your kids. It's probably also good to say that all of these options and prices are extremely current, and in a year from now, there might be better or cheaper apps available, so stay tuned and I'll tweet or post about others down the road.

Before we get to the list, I've got one important tip. When you install an accountability app or filtering software, make sure that a trusted friend/spouse sets up the password. If you have a problem viewing pornography online and hold the password for disabling the app, then, obviously, it's not going to do much good.

Four GREAT Accountability/Filtering Apps:

1. OpenDNS: This FREE service is the best option to protect your home connection. Essentially, it becomes the middleman between your Internet provider and your router, ensuring that every device that uses your home Internet is being filtered. While set-up is rather simple, if you need help, they have great support! It's important to mention, however, that this ONLY filters your home connection. It's not going to filter your iPod when you're using wifi away from home, and it won't filter internet connections through a cellular connection. Bottom line: EVERY home should have this service enabled.

2. NetNanny: This company has a great reputation for providing filtering software/apps over the years. The biggest reason for checking it out would be the price to protect mobile devices. Android devices cost $13 a year. iOS DEVICES COST $5 FOR A PERPETUAL LICENSE (NO FEES OR SUBSCRIPTION!!!) Eventually, the iOS app will probably have a similar subscription to that of the Android devices, so this is a great deal! As is the case with all iOS accountability/filtering apps, this requires you to disable Safari and acts as its own browser. While it can sometimes be a little inconvenient, it's well worth it considering that there are no filtering/accountability options available with Safari.

3. Funamo: This app is only available for Android devices, while also working on popular e-readers like the Kindle Fire and Nook. It features an app with parental controls (for devices that children use) AND an accountability app (for adults). It costs $20 for a perpetual license on one device, meaning that you need to purchase Funamo for each device you would like to protect. While $20 seems a little on the expensive side, because it's a one-time purchase per-device, it ends up being a fraction of what you would pay with other subscription purchases. If I didn't already use Ever Accountable (more on that below), this would be my first choice for Android devices as it has an app specifically designed for accountability for adults. The app has a free trial, so check it out.

4. Mobiclip: Mobiclip is a free filtering app for iOS and Android, but advanced features like activity/email reporting will cost $10 a year. Mobiclip is probably better suited for protecting kids, as it has three levels of protection (Elementary, Middle and High School) which are set up based on school safety requirements. Using Mobiclip means using its own Safe Browser (while this is always the case for Apple devices, it means that Android users can't use other browsers as well).

Four Accountability/Filtering Apps that you should avoid:
There are several other well-known services for accountability and filtering that have a history of being problematic or are, in my opinion, unnecessarily expensive. While I wouldn't currently recommend any of these options, they happen to be some of the bigger names in Internet safety, so rather than omit them, I've included them below.

1. X3Watch: X3watch (created by xxxChurch) is a well-known accountability app for PC, iOS and Android devices. There is a free version available for the PC (as well as a Pro version for a monthly subscription), but mobile device users pay a one-time fee of $7. This app offers no web filtering, but is purely an accountability app that sends an email to a friend/spouse which lists questionable websites and reports whether you tried to circumvent the app. I used to plug this app a lot with my students and friends (it even used to be free!), but there are a few things that would keep me from recommending it today. If you read their App Store reviews, you'll see a string of disappointed customers who complain of problems with the built-in browser crashing, being unable to properly install the app after purchase, and not getting responses from tech support. I've experienced all of these problems myself, so even though I got the app for free a number of years ago, I'm going to be switching to one of the other apps listed above. I would LOVE to be able to recommend this app, especially considering their ministry focus, but the tech is just too problematic at this point.

2. Ever Accountable: Oh, how the mighty have fallen! A year ago, I would have wholeheartedly recommended this accountability app (for Android only), but things have changed. With Ever Accountable, you can use Chrome or the Dolphin browser and it sends a detailed list of EVERY site you visit to an accountability partner (including YouTube and Facebook). Unlike x3watch, however, it doesn't just send a list of questionable websites, but (like Accountable 2 You below) it reports on EVERY SINGLE website you've visited (including times and dates). As someone who uses the app myself, I balked a little at the excessive loss of privacy when I first installed it. It seems largely unnecessary to list ALL of the visited websites, and it also means that if my wife (who happens to be my accountability partner) wanted to, she could scroll down and find out that I bought her a gift online. On the plus side, the questionable websites are listed right at the top of the report, and because I don't buy my wife many gifts, it wasn't that big of a deal for me. Ok, I'm kidding about the gifts, and I simply suggested that she watch the top of the reports and ignore the rest. Interestingly enough, the question of your online activity being an open book isn't the deal-breaker, it's the fact that Ever Accountable has switched to a subscription based model. While I still use this accountability app myself on my Nexus 7, I bought it as a one-time purchase of $11 (I think). It has currently jumped to a $3.99 monthly subscription (or $30 for an annual subscription). It's not as expensive as the next two on my list, but despite my positive experience with the app, I could never recommend it at that price.

3. Covenant Eyes: They have a great twitter feed that offers resources and blog posts which revolve around Internet safety, but their service is far too expensive for me to recommend. Humorously enough, they even understand this and offer an infographic that attempts to justify the monthly cost. Currently, subscription prices for accountability only are $9/month, with additional users costing $2/month. If you want web filtering as well, it'll cost you at least a couple of dollars more a month per user. Nothing else needs to be said.

4. Accountable 2 You: This accountability app, like Ever Accountable, sends a full report of websites you've visited with questionable sites listed on the top. It works on PC, Mac, Android, Kindle and iOS devices. It has a subscription cost of $5/month which appears to cover an unlimited number of your devices, although the website isn't clear on that.